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Two Birds and a Stone

Today, two parrots we had died.  Blue one, cowardly yet cheerful old male with endless appetite, died even before I got up.  That one was my favorite.  White one, feisty angry young female with tendency to destroy more food than consume, died about 11PM with both my wife and I watching.  We think the food we gave them last night was bad.

I never named the birds, just enjoyed watching them.  Blue one would scream for food and, when I give them, scream to complain that the white one took his food.  White one ate only a little but spent a lot of time throwing food out.  Blue one spent most of the day running away from the white one but would spend about ten minutes hopping around mad at the white one.  During those ten minutes, the white one just flew to a corner and waited for the blue one's temper to end.

Blue one would also demand to be let out once a day and when we do, flew around the house for half an hour and then demanded to be let in.  The white one would peep nervously whenever the blue one went out to fly.  It was peeping all day today, asking the blue one to fly back home.  I stayed my home office mostly to avoid hearing her sad little peeps.

Where does the stone come in?  The stone is in my heart.  I am not really sad.  My wife is.  She cried even.  I cried when my dog died but no tears came this time.  My heart just feels heavy, as if it's weighted down with a stone.

Comments
Don:

I wish I could say something profound and uplifting, but I'm always at a loss at times like these. I'm sorry for the loss.

Best,

Steve
Perhaps it's something about birds. I've heard that it's difficult to anthopomorphize birds (illustrated by your calling them by their colors, and not names), and I know that when my family's birds died, I didn't feel sad (nor did I when my goldfish died). However, if anything were to happen to my dog, I'd be absolutely devastated.

Here is where I'd try to say something profound, but since you're not really saddened by their loss, I'd just ask that you reflect on what you've written here, as there was clearly some joy at watching how the birds interacted with you and each other, and just remember them from time to time. My condolences to your wife, however.
Perhaps your wife cried (and you have a stone) because of the food suspicions, more than the fact of the birds deaths. While you obviously weren't too attached to them, you may be feeling a tad bit guilty?

Just some unqualified-internet-pseudopsychology, completely worth what you paid for it.
Fortunately, my wife's sadness didn't seem to have survived the night's trip across dreamland. Neither did my stone. They deserved more but, like Rob wrote, maybe it's something about birds. Apparently my relationship with the birds were as shallow as their graves in our backyard.

BTW, thanks guys.
Deborah Miller   at 2005/02/25 12:54:42 PM
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Being a parrot owner, I know that if our parrot died I'd be very sad. She part of the family and so smart it's almost scary.

I'm commenting because I'm in a couple of on-line parrot groups and just yesterday there were several posts about peoples parrots dieing after eating grapes. The grapes in question we from Chili and I was wondering if, by any chance, that was what you had feed your two.
Hi Deborah. No, it wasn't grapes. It was a new batch of Honey Treat from Kaytee, a slab of seeds dipped in honey. We've been giving the same brand to them as treats for more than a year and they never had problems before.

However, I did notice that each batch (we bought dozens at a time) looked visibly different which made me frown on their quality control. Obviously, birds noticed too because they would refused to eat some batches while they ate most batches like hungry rats.

Anyway, I doubt we'll be getting any more birds. We got these two for my son because the grief from the death of our dog was just too much. After hearing the last gasp of the white one, I am thinking whether worms make safe griefless pets...
While it's possible that worms might make a "griefless pet", I'd have to wonder if it would be worthwhile. It's certainly interesting to watch animals do their thing, as it were, but I don't know that I'd want a pet that I couldn't pick up, play with, make a bond with. It'll certainly hurt a bit when they pass on, as all animals must, but I consider it a "cost of doing business".

I always feel a bit sad when I hear that someone doesn't have a pet, especially when they talk about inconvenient it is to have a pet. It's certainly a responsibility, but my dog brings such a huge amount of joy (and entertainment) into my house, I've never regretted the choice for a second. And I have to think that how much you grieve is just a representation of how much you have loved, and have been loved in return.

If you end up choosing to not get a new pet, I certainly understand, but I'd just have to think that your life would be just a little less joyful ...
Sharon Bell   at 2006/03/28 04:40:13 AM
Hello,
I am so sorry to here about your lose, A little over a year ago I lost one as well. I miss him so. I think about heaven and I think about him. His sweet song. The way he loved to dance. And scream pertty bird.
Sharon Bell   at 2006/03/28 04:41:33 AM
Hello,
I am so sorry to here about your lose, A little over a year ago I lost one as well. I miss him so. I think about heaven and I think about him. His sweet song. The way he loved to dance. And scream pertty bird.
The past cannot be changed. We must cope with the present if we hope to affect our future and spread the word about birds's epithets to our friends.
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