A wisp of clarity visited me while I was thinking about Chris and Kathy. Allow me to capture it before it flutters away:

One's capacity to harm is not bound by one's capacity to understand.

One's capacity to harm is magnified by one's capacity to misunderstand.

Re Tim O'Reilly's Code of Conduct proposal, I think it is both unnecessary and overly restricting.

Social bounds are enforced by scars and fears, not by words and hopes.